


Transformations (the Three Things Erik Now Knows About Badgers remix)

by misura



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, M/M, Were-Creatures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-21
Updated: 2012-04-21
Packaged: 2017-11-04 01:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/388311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles is a werebadger. Erik is his boyfriend. Raven is Raven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transformations (the Three Things Erik Now Knows About Badgers remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pearl_o](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearl_o/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Transformations](https://archiveofourown.org/works/370226) by [pearl_o](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearl_o/pseuds/pearl_o). 



> all quotes taken from [this page on Wikpedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badgers)

Erik's first thought when Charles told him was that it was the lousiest version of _'it's not you, it's me'_ he'd ever heard - and he'd heard quite a few by now, mostly from people who just weren't as cool with the whole mind over metal thing as they'd thought they were.

Those, he'd parted ways with willingly enough; he was who he was, and if anyone had a problem with that, then clearly they weren't worth the time or effort of hanging on to them. Plenty more fish in the sea, and all that.

He'd thought Charles would be different, though. He'd thought Charles, with his one cheesy pick-up line and his terrible seduction techniques and that adorable expression he got on his face whenever Erik kissed him in public - he'd thought it had meant something.

"A werebadger," he repeated. It was original, he had to give Charles that. Perhaps Charles ought to start using it by way of his new pick-up line. Given the popularity of werewolves and vampires, surely there would be some people who'd be into the idea of having sex with a werebadger.

Charles looked embarrassed. Possibly at Erik's thoughts, but more likely at the whole situation. "I'm afraid so, yes. Look, I really am terribly sorry I didn't tell you before, but, well, it's not really something you can just pop in a conversation, is it?"

"It's all right, Charles." It wasn't, actually, and really, the temptation to slap Charles in the face and tell him to man up already and simply say what he really meant was increasing by the second - Charles had claimed to love him, to know _everything_ about him, and now he was just -

\- kissing Erik like he wasn't planning on breathing any time soon? _'Thank you,'_ Charles told him. _'I should have known you wouldn't get all weird on me about this. It means a lot to me, Erik, to know you accept me for who I am.'_

"You're an idiot." Erik felt slightly dizzy. Lack of oxygen, possibly. "And very welcome."

 

 _The word badger is possibly related to the Romanian viezure ("badger"), a word of uncertain etymology, believed to be inherited from Dacian/Thracian and related to the Albanian vjedhullë ("thief") and vjeth ("to steal")._ \- Wikipedia

 

_two months earlier_

Talking Charles into having dinner with him proved ridiculously easy. Erik wasn't about to complain, obviously, but in the mental file headed 'Xavier, Charles', he made note of the fact that Charles possibly didn't eat enough.

"Stop stealing my fries."

"They're not _your_ fries," Charles argued, stealing another one. "They're just lying there. Anyone could take them."

Anyone who tried might find himself at the wrong end of a fork. Charles was here as his date, though, and Erik had made it a habit not to stick forks into people he hoped to have sex with. (Or knives or any other kind of metal object, really.)

"I paid for them," Erik pointed out mildly.

"You paid for everything that we got," Charles said. " _Ergo_ , either the burger I ate was yours as well, or we share everything, in which case: _our_ fries. Learn to share. It's a big part of any relationship."

"This is not sharing. This is you, stealing my fries." Charles gave him a pointed look. "Stealing the portion of our fries that's rightfully mine," Erik amended. "Sharing, Charles. It means we both get half, and you already ate your half."

"Now, technically, I believe you will find that's not the actual definition of sharing."

" _Charles_."

"Ice cream after would be very nice," Charles said.

 

 _A male badger is a boar_ \- Wikipedia

 

_one week after_

"'A male badger is a boar'," Raven read out loud, and Charles loved her, he really did - in a completely platonic, 'you're like my sister, and you promised we were never going to talk again about that time I asked you to look like Collin Farrell and hold my hand' kind of way, but he was beginning to sort of wish he'd never met her.

That, or that she'd never found the Wikipedia page on badgers and then had decided to read the juicy bits out loud, for Erik's entertainment and Charles's embarrassment.

"He's always been a gentleman with me," Erik said, smiling.

Raven snorted. "You mean you guys still haven't had sex yet?"

"Well, really, Raven." Charles felt himself flush. They _had_ had sex, actually.

"Anyway, I think it just means he's boring. He _is_ a professor, you know."

"Not - " Charles started to say, because he'd explained this to her already a hundred times, about how you could only be a professor if you taught, which Charles didn't, and so -

"I didn't, actually. Although I suppose the long lectures might have been a clue."

"What long lectures?" Charles bristled. "You said you were interested in genetic mutations, so I gave you a very basic, very _brief_ overview of the current theories on the subject."

"You're very cute when you babble," Erik said, smothering Charles's entirely called for protest with a kiss that should have made Raven turn her head but instead just made her grin.

 

 _Today badgers are commercially raised for their hair, which is harvested to make shaving brushes._ \- Wikipedia

 

_five months after_

Before Charles had moved in, Erik's house had always seemed a bit too big, too empty. Now, it seemed just right with Charles's stuff lying everywhere, Charles's books filling the previously empty bookshelves (Erik had an e-reader), Charles's movies stacked in a messy row near the TV (Erik mostly just watched the news), Charles's hair products cluttering up the sink.

"I broke up the floor in the basement."

Charles blinked at him from the bathroom mirror. "Whatever for?"

"I thought you might like to stay there during your next - " Erik paused, searching for the right word.

"Badgerization?" Charles suggested.

"I'm reasonably sure that's not an actual word."

"So?" Charles went back to shaving. "Thank you, though, that's very thoughtful of you. I just hope I won't accidentally bring down your house."

Erik frowned. "Is there really any risk of that?"

"I'm not the one who's read the entire Wikipedia article on badgers. Twice. Out loud, while making decidedly unfunny jokes. I just turn into one once a month. How should I know what they can or can't do?"

"Now that you mention it, I do believe there was something in there about badgers being rather cranky in the morning."

"Oh, just shut up and let me thank you properly."


End file.
